If anyone has a bluesky account, so do I! Moots please DM me and we can trade names!
hehehehe, sneaking into your inbox to say HI and DID YOU KNOW YOU ARE ADORED and I LOVE YOUR BIG FABULOUS CREATIVE BRAIN
Smooches you smooches you smooches you smooches you!!!!! đź’śđź’śđź’ś
rule
update
“Sick”, of course, as in:
(via trashquisitor-shirozora)
justin mcelroy has said many powerful things but honestly no set of words in the english language conveys the same energy as “that’s a funny trick to play on god”
“you’re rearranging deck chairs on the titanic, my friend” is a very close second
“we can do whatever sins we want! there’s no god here to observe this” is very good too
“the man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one” was also good
“for the millionth time the first amendment protects you from the government not the justin”
(via churchyardgrim)
And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins
@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!
It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth
SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.
NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED
YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.
It’s supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front
I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.
Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.
Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?
cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder
Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time
actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.
Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!
what the actual fuck?
Behold, my grandmother’s recipe for Cranberry Surprise:
For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don’t have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.
For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and ½ tsp. of almond extract.
In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you’ve got one, or a fork if you don’t. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)
Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it’s supposed to be THAT pink.
Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.
American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.
(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)
I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.
One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.
Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!
Oh my ZOD I love that
my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.
we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.
Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.
- Hello international friends, I am delighted to report all of the above is real :)
- Not to come in with a steel chair here, but the ideal pairing for cranberry sauce in all forms, and the meat we *should* be serving at Thanksgiving, rather than easy-to-improperly cook turkey that tastes like napkins, is Lamb.
Comedy fucking gold I’m sorry
Somebody tell Hollywood I’ve found proof that a plot twist can be predictable and yet still amazing.
(via trashquisitor-shirozora)
Roman Ruins in Schonbrunn, 1891 - oil on canvas.
— Carl Moll (Austrian, 1861-1945)
(via derryderrydown)
America slaughtering buffalo and moving whole tribes for the sake of building railroads only to decide they dont actually like trains is giving the same energy as the english conquering the world for spices and then deciding they didnt like any of them. like father like son
LETS GO!!!!! THE SHITBAG YOUNGER BROTHER ALSO COMMITS GENOCIDE AND OTHER COLONIAL ATTROCITIES!!!!!
(via trollprincess)